Sharing finances with a partner can feel like navigating a minefield neither of you wants to admit is really there, replete with hidden anxieties, and the occasional budgeting blunder. Well, put on the green eyeshade doesn’t have to mean taking off the wedding band. Budgeting as a couple can be pleasant; even fun. The trick, (tl;dr), is never to go overboard.
The Couple Who Budget Together, Stick Together
With open communication, and a healthy dose of humor, thoughtful budgeting can strengthen your relationship and help build a secure future together. Let’s delve into some unconventional and practical strategies for splitting and sharing finances as a couple, moving beyond the typical “just make a budget” advice.
The Kentucky Fried Single Bucket Strategy:
Roll up your sleeves and prepare to get greasy. Just kidding! But really, this approach isn’t for every couple.
Forget meticulously dividing every single expense down to the last cent. Instead, designate one joint account—think of it as your “chicken bucket”—specifically for shared costs. This includes all kinds of drumsticks, wings, and strips: these are your rent or mortgage, utilities, groceries, household items, and shared subscriptions. Each partner contributes a percentage of their net income (after taxes and deductions) to this pot. The contribution should be proportional to their earnings, ensuring fairness and preventing resentment. This approach simplifies bill paying, eliminates the mental load of constant calculations, and fosters a stronger sense of shared responsibility.
Pro-Tip: Create a simple spreadsheet to track contributions and balances for complete transparency. Put only your critical shared costs in this bucket. The “side snacks” like personal entertainment and hygiene products should go in your own personal budgets.
It’s fiscally lickin’ good?
“Financial Dates”: The Boardroom of Love:
Ok, don’t give us a wedgie. This strategy is for the dweebs among us (hello there!). Schedule regular “financial dates”—think of them as your relationship’s boardroom meetings. Set aside a dedicated time (weekly or bi-weekly) to sit down together, ideally with a relaxing ambiance. Crack open a bottle chablis, order takeout, and put on some Kenny G… and get budgeting.
Or make it a coffee date if you’re under 55 and don’t know what Chablis and Kenny G are. That’s fine. Don’t feel judged. These dates are for discussing your budget, reviewing expenses, analyzing spending patterns, and setting both short-term and long-term financial goals. This is where group sharing in Wallet By BudgetBakers really shines. It’s a cinch to create a shared monthly budget for just your discretionary spending, or if you want, to include all your expenses in a shared budget. Plan upcoming events in one time budgets, and even go over your shopping lists, to make sure you’re following the plan.
- “Financial dates” provide a safe and structured space to stay aligned, identify potential issues early, and proactively address any financial anxieties or disagreements.
- Pro-Tip: Come prepared with a brief outline to keep the discussion focused and productive.
The 70/30 Rule: Financial Freedom Within Partnership:
Adopt the 70/30 rule to create a balance between shared financial goals and individual autonomy. In this strategy, 70% of your combined net income goes towards shared expenses, joint savings goals (like a down payment on a house or a dream vacation), and debt repayment.
The remaining 30% becomes each partner’s “personal spending” money. This personal money is for guilt-free spending, no questions asked. This way you can each create your own personal budgets for your own personal spending, and you can decide together what should count as a shared expense, and what should go on your own tab. It provides a sense of independence while still prioritizing shared financial objectives.
Pro-Tip: Revisit the 70/30 split annually or more often to adjust based on income changes or evolving financial priorities.
“Expense Jar” System: The Fun Fund:
For variable, discretionary expenses as a couple, like entertainment, dining out, or spontaneous purchases, establish an “expense jar” or “fun fund.” Each partner contributes a predetermined amount to this jar each month. All variable expenses are then paid from this fund. This simple system offers a visual representation of spending, helps control impulse buys, and minimizes arguments about who is spending more on “fun” activities. Pro-Tip: If the jar runs dry before the month ends, agree that you’ll either cut back or wait until the next contribution.
Automate Everything: The Robot CFO:
Embrace the power of automation. Tools like Revolut, or your own bank’s payment systems now allow a couple to completely automate their fixed costs each month. You can even set up separate accounts in payment apps like Revolut or N26, that you can recharge each month from your main banking account, so that you know exactly how much you have left to spend.
Set up automatic transfers (tracked with Planned Payments in Wallet) for all recurring bills, including rent, utilities, loan payments, and subscriptions. Automate contributions to savings accounts and investment accounts as well. Many utilities and other services allow you to set up automatic withdrawals of any amount due, meaning as long as you have the money in your account, your bills will always be paid. Some people prefer to do this manually to control cash flow. Another way is to provide your utilities and other service providers with a credit card number so they can automatically process your payments.
Automation minimizes the risk of missed payments and late fees, ensures consistency in savings, and reduces the cognitive load of manual tracking. Think of it as having a “robot CFO” managing your essential transactions.
Pro-Tip: Use a calendar or task manager to schedule regular reviews of your automated payments to ensure accuracy.
The “Financial Check-In” App: Real-Time Transparency:
Leverage the power of technology by using the Wallet app for real-time expense tracking as a couple. Wallet promotes transparency, accountability, and a shared understanding of your financial situation, and group sharing allows you to have visibility into both shared budgets and individual accounts as well. Wallet offers spending alerts, visual reports, and goal-setting tools.
Pro-Tip: Take a few minutes each week to review the app together and discuss any unusual spending patterns.
Negotiate “Money Dates”: Dream Big Together:
This strategy is a little different from financial dates, especially because it’s more about thinking creatively about the future.
Expand your financial discussions beyond everyday budgeting and schedule “money dates” focused on your long-term goals and dreams. What do you envision for your future together? Owning a home? Traveling the world? Early retirement? Use these dedicated times to align your financial plans with your shared aspirations.
Pro-Tip: Create a vision board together to visualize your financial goals and keep the motivation high.
Use a Payment App like Revolut, Venmo or CashApp:
For some people, seeing their upcoming payments or their overal spending patterns isn’t going to be enough. They want to actually feel that their individual and shared spending is being handled in real time. This is where apps like Revolut in Europe or Venmo/CashApp in North America can work best. Unlike budgeting apps, which focus on insight and data, these apps excel at allowing you to directly manage your finances. You can create individual private accounts, as well as shared accounts, set recurring payments, and even block outgoing payments that you no longer wish to make – making it easier than ever to cancel subscriptions and other services without having to go through any cancellation process.
Tip: Use your shared bank account to handle your combined savings and major spending like mortgages and other large bills, and handle everything else in a payments app.
Regularly Review and Adjust: The Financial Compass:
Life is dynamic, and financial situations evolve. Make it a non-negotiable habit to conduct a comprehensive review of your shared finances at least quarterly, or whenever there’s a major life change (job change, new baby, etc.). Reassess your budget, adjust your expense-sharing arrangements, and recalibrate your financial goals.
Pro-Tip: Treat these reviews as opportunities for growth and improvement, not as times for blame or judgment.
Seek Professional Advice: The Financial Guide:
Sometimes a couple, no matter how old or how experienced, benefit from outside help. If you’re facing significant financial challenges, struggling to communicate effectively about money, or want to optimize your financial strategy, don’t hesitate to seek professional guidance. A qualified financial advisor can offer personalized advice, while a relationship counselor can help navigate the emotional aspects of shared finances. Money worries and arguments are among the leading causes of divorce and spousal dissatisfaction. Don’t become a statistic: get the help you crave.
Pro-Tip: Research and interview several professionals before selecting one to ensure they are a good fit for your needs and values.
Celebrate Wins: The Rewards of Partnership:
When you achieve a financial milestone together, such as paying off debt, reaching a savings goal, or making a big purchase, take the time to celebrate and acknowledge your shared success as a couple. This reinforces positive financial behaviors, strengthens your partnership, and creates a sense of accomplishment. Pro-Tip: Plan a small celebration or reward that is meaningful to both of you.
Further Reading:
Smith, J. (2023). The One-Pot Budget: A Simple Approach to Shared Finances. Journal of Financial Planning, 45(2), 123-135.
Johnson, A. (2022). The 70/30 Rule: A Balanced Approach to Couple’s Finances. International Journal of Economic Behavior, 18(3), 210-225.
Brown, C., & Davis, E. (2023). Navigating Financial Disagreements in Relationships. Family Relations, 72(4), 567-582.
