Throwaway for reasons.
I need advice on what to do about my mother’s financial situation.
Here’s the situation: my mother is an unemployable 61 year old woman who has been mooching off of our extended family for 11 years now.
11 years ago, when I was 15, our/my parents house was foreclosed. This happened within a month of both of her parents dying, and my dad and I leaving her. She has 5 siblings, one of which, let’s call him John, fought very hard to help her move into their (then recently) deceased parents house when they found out about the foreclosure. She has been living there rent free for 11 years with on and off jobs, no plan, etc.
Last week my uncle John called me to tell me the entire family decided enough is enough. It’s time for her to get out, and they are going to sell the house. It’s moldy, old, in disrepair, falling apart, and in a part of town that has gone downhill with crime steadily since the 90s. It is not worth the investment to fix it up.
He said while the process to sell will not be overnight, she needs to get out in the next 6-8 months. All 5 siblings voted and are in agreement with this. This is not the first time they’ve asked her to leave – they gave her a soft warning two years ago which she basically ignored, despite my many attempts to help her get some savings and a job after this warning. Thanks to me she got both of these things – and when I left her to manage it herself without the training wheels (myself managing her money), she quit her job, spent the small amount of savings we managed to scrape together for her, and ran up all of her credit cards.
So, here’s the current income situation:
She makes barely $23,000 annually from alimony from my father alone.
She does not have a job currently. She is basically unemployable. She has no education, no skills, is not good with customers or conflict, and she can’t use a computer to save her life. I’d laugh at how pathetic this sounds if I weren’t the one who has to pay her bills when she’s old.
I’m explaining this next bit to give context as to why a steady income is unlikely for her. My mom has a victim mentality and has always burned bridges with co-workers, friends, etc. Every job she’s ever had she has quit or been fired from within 5-7 months. I’ll be honest – I’ve helped her get most of the retail jobs she’s gotten in the past 5 years (Target, Home Goods, Safeway, etc), but everytime she gets a job there is always some drama where, “this person is out to get me”, or, “he is trying to sabotage me”, etc, and then she quits or is fired. I’ve seen this happen since I was a child. I could get her another job, but without her having reliable steady income, where could she realistically rent? She makes less than $2k a month.
She will get a small chunk of money from the house which I will have to figure out how to help her manage. She is notoriously bad with money, has no savings, owes back taxes (at least $30k), and every time she gets her hands on some money it’s gone within a week on new clothes or jewelery. She will probably get somewhere between $50-$70k from her cut of the house sale, but that won’t be for at least a year+, and she needs to be out within the next 6-8 months. When she does get that money, I’d like to help her put it in savings or a retirement fund – since she will have absolutely no other options for when she will be elderly and needs income.
I was thinking maybe she could use a portion of the house profit as a down payment on a condo or something, but I don’t know.
So here’s where I’m at: what is the next best step to take? What would be a reasonable safe move for her? How can I decrease her risk of being homeless? I am not sure that financial stability is possible for a person like her. Please prove me wrong here.
I feel so overwhelmed with the prospect of having to do research on and apply for any potential government programs – any general advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Also, last note, I am helping her because I want to know that I did the right thing when I am older and look back at this. I don’t want to turn my back on her (we don’t have a great relationship) until I’ve done everything I possibly can.
